Guys are like purses

If you ever see my girls at a pool party in someone's infinity pool overlooking the ocean and they're saying things like, "Her make-up is so inland Orange County," can someone please put me out of my misery? There's a Laguna Beach marathon on MTV right now, and I got hooked for a few minutes by the absurd, incredibly stupid things that were coming out of these high-schoolers' mouths. For example, "Guys are like purses. Sometimes there's those guys, like that purse you like to have, but you don't want to be seen in public with. And then there's the beautiful ones you absolutely love, but cost a lot of money and need more care." "Some guys when they get older, they either get hot or they get ug-lay." " Are you 100% over him?" No, I'm 102%" "No way." "She like does her make-up for 500 hours a day." "I can't believe we're graduating. Like 18 years of 12 years of school."

There are several things wrong with this show: 1) This is actually a reality show, not a staged sitcom 2) How can anyone be so incredibly shallow and vain? 3) Where are their parents? 4) Girls are REALLY, REALLY mean 5) That "guys are like purses" dialogue is still really bothering me 6) Is this what our kids are destined to be like if we stay here in SoCal? 7) Maybe the chemicals they use to dye their hair are seeping into their brains? 8) Is there a distinction between makeup from inland OC and coastal OC? 9) Where did these girls learn math? I am really ashamed for our whole region and want to publicly apologize and assure everyone that we're not all like this. There are some of us out here that try to raise our children with morals and respect.

Klaus Teuber

With a name like Klaus how can you go wrong? If you've stayed in our home, you have most likely engaged in a game of Settlers with us. There are several ways our guests get educated while staying with us: 1) Swingers will be watched if not previously seen already, 2) Napoleon will be viewed, sometimes even if you've seen it before, 3) Settlers will be played. This is what we did on Christmas night with an old friend of ours, who was staying over. We went to bed at 3 AM after playing another one of Klaus Teuber's mastermind games, Settlers of the Stone Age. The original, Settlers of Catan was a favorite of ours for years. These games take old-school favorities like Monopoly and Risk to another level. At the end of the 3-hour game, I emerged victorious, even after my husband and friend staged an embargo and cut off all trade to my people. I'm looking forward to New Year's when we pull out the Yute, a centuries-old Korean game that is played like the game Sorry but is much cooler because it involves throwing carved wooden dowels simultaneously in the air. Let the games begin!

Christmas traditions

Growing up, Christmas was not about extravagant gifts, although we had some simple gifts most years even when the family was not doing well financially. As a child, Christmas was about the four of us, being at home and savoring my mom's non-stop cooking ALL DAY LONG. It also meant that my dad would fire up the fireplace (real wood logs and all), even if it was in the 70s outside. Since we didn't have grandparents, cousins, uncles or aunts who lived nearby to share in the holidays, we did our own thing at home. Now that we have our own family of 4, I often think about what kind of traditions we want to institute in our family. My husband's family on the other hand, is huge. Every holiday season, there are gatherings with the family clan and although I enjoy watching our children grow up and celebrate holidays with the large family that I never had, I still savor the time for us to be alone with our kids and build our own memories.

This year, our Christmas morning opened with gifts, because as a parent there's something so heart warming about the excitement and anticipation on a child's face when they are opening a gift. Since we hadn't explained Santa to our kids (remember it still hasn't been discussed in our household), they didn't know about or expect any gifts, which made the surprise even better. Afterwards we had breakfast and quickly got dressed for church. It was natural and easy this year to bring back the focus on Christ this Christmas, because this year it fell on Sunday. I was reminded how amazing and wonderful a gift we were given just a little over 2000 years ago when the God of all creation, who transcends all space and time, came down as flesh at a physical place and time to touch and speak to us. Wow. We take it for granted every day. This is the Christmas I want to show our children. The gifts, the full bellies, the laughter and the memories are just a bonus.

Winter's here, let's hit the beach?

Happy Winter Solstice everyone! Not to rub it in, but it's going to be a balmy 83 degrees here on Christmas Eve. Here in LA, the weathermen have names such as Dallas Raines and Johnny Mountain and although their simple and seemingly mundane job is to report the same sunshine everyday (seriously, they could just prerecord and play back the same weather report for the next several months), for some reason they like to devote a good third of the news to talking about the weather. First they talk about the weather in general. Then they break away to different areas of the city to see how people are enjoying the weather. Next, they cut to their correspondents in Vermont or Connecticticut and talk about how much the weather sucks elsewhere (usually, at this time there is lots of chuckling and joking about what people do out there while our residents are having picnics in their shorts). It's all very cruel. Finally, some overly tan man dressed like he's heading for the Casinos after work comes on and reports the numbers. We get it already. It's going to be sunny again and we rule!

Brainwashed Texan

Having grown up most of my life in Texas where the motto is "Bigger is Better" (including the people), you start to actually believe that size really does matter. I have always subconsciously chosen the bigger things in life. For example, I feel at home at places like Costco, and their packaging is just my size. When I sit and think about it more, I realize I don't really like:

• small cars (especially the kind with small engines),
• small trunks (I need cargo space to haul all my big stuff. We once hauled a 9-ft. long wood patio table with 6 matching chairs AND a large sandbox, shaped like a boat, all in the minivan in 1 trip.)
• small homes (at least for our family of 4; although I hate huge homes even more),
• small babies (the fatter the better),
• small creatures (e.g. insects, lizards and rodents),
• small dogs (look too much like large rodents),
• small underwear (thongs are evil),
• small kitchens,
• small cutting boards (very annoying to cut on),
• small refrigerators (We have a counter-depth fridge and the absence of those few inches is killing me. Fortunately, we have a spare fridge in the garage.),
• small closets (I have no walk-in closets!),
• small spaces (such as attics and crawl spaces),
• small toys (that I constantly have to pick up for my children and get lost in couch cushions or who knows where),
• small doors (I own a side-by-side double stroller),
• small lips,
• small eyebrows (e.g. Whoopi Goldberg),
• small fingernails and toenails (which I am cursed with),
• small, pointy shoes (I have feet on the large size for my height. Plus, they are also a bit wider.),
• small, beady eyes,
• small, expensive gadgets (which I'm constantly worried about losing),
• small purses (what's the point?),
• small planes (I've flown my share of prop-jets),
• small computers (I know I would like a smaller notebook computer, but I just feel like my monster laptop/countertop has more power and speed),
• small lot sizes (Hello, LA),
• small wallets (I stuff everything in mine including coupons which I whip out everywhere. Just go shopping with me, you will see),
• small pools (unless it's a jacuzzi which is not for swimming),
• small produce (Some say they are sweeter and organic is better, but God also gave us the science to produce bigger and better fruit. Also, I'm unable to cook in small portions),
• small hair pins (which I have to use because my daughters have no hair and they are constantly losing),
• small cookbooks (I've never read one that was good)
• small bathtubs (need to fit 1-2 comfortably),
• small towels (I grew up with puny little towels my whole life and now own only oversized bath towels)
• small men (my apologies to all you short-statured men. I'm married anyway.),
• small handwriting (unless your intent is for others not to read what you wrote)
• small stuff in your home that doesn't really have a place,
• small stuff I need and can never find when I need it,
• small pieces that are left at the end when clearing out the dishwasher,
• and... to add to my list, I just realized I don't like small states.

I have never lived in a state less than 46,058 square miles in size. The only states I've lived in are the first, second, third and sixth most populated states, and the sixth-ranked state (with well over 12 million residents) was definitely the worst in my memory. I didn't realize until now just how severe my size prejudice is.

A day in the life of our family

Here's a crazy scene from our family room one night:

[Enter UPS delivery man] I just receive a package from UPS. Hurriedly I open the package to see what it is, forgetting that I ordered something again online.

I rip open the box and pull out layers of packing filler covering the treasure. The anticipation is killing me.

There laying at the bottom is the karaoke mic system we ordered late one night on a whim.

"Yesss!" I proclaim.

I battle with the industrial strength, commercial grade plastic and finally release all the contents: an easy to plug in mic with a 300-song chip, 4 bonus chips and a small binder with a long list of alphabetized songs.

Joe watches from a distance, still sick and his body still riddled with the flu.

I plug it in and select an easy Beatles song, Blackbird. Sadly my score is pathetic (a mere 40 something). I clear my throat, adjust the pitch and the tempo and go at it again.

My husband interrupts, "Don't you want to give the kids a try?"

Oh yeah. I find some kids songs. My kids are tone deaf and can't keep a rhythm. I can't even remember their pitiful score, but the machine said something to the effect of, "keep trying." I guess my dreams of Julliard are blown.

We give it another 4 or 5 songs. We are determined to break 80.

It's "From this Moment," our very own wedding song that brings me home with a whopping score of 97. [sound of prerecorded applause in the background]

Yessss! I knew it was in me.

Final scene: The kids and I are fighting over the mic and poor Joe shuffles back into bed with the cacophonic sounds of 3 screeching girls echoing in the background.

[Fade to black]

Anyone up for karaoke?

Santa Claus - fact or fiction?

Merry Christmas, Santa
Originally uploaded by hyuhan.

Last night Joe and I had a conversation about Santa. Actually, it was me who did most of the talking this time, because Joe is still recovering from an awful, awful flu. I feel for all you poor individuals afflicted with this grievous ailment. Anyway, I'm chattier than ever, because my husband is finally able to engage in discourse with me again, now that he has some of his energy up. Can you tell that I am in need of companionship? I've only been writing a novel or two per day.

The dilemma is that as a Christian, 1) we don't want to tell lies to our children about some man who brings toys to only good boys and girls and 2) it takes away from the true meaning of Christmas and reduces it to something commercial. On the other hand, 1) what are children without hopes, dreams and stories (mythical or real), 2) our kids are going to ruin it for all the other kids on the playground, and 3) most of us have warm, wonderful memories from our childhood that are rooted in our belief in a Santa and the anticipation of receiving magical, elf-crafted gifts.

In our household, we have been avoiding the "Santa subject" with the kids. Even though we had Abby take pictures with Santa (very tastefully done at Disneyland) and she talked to him, there was no explanation of who he is and what he does. But already Abby seems to know about him. Maybe she heard about him from some friends at school? My inclination is to tell her that he is a story, like Cinderella, that has been passed down for many years. It will go something like this: On Christmas we celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus, His physical incarnation. As a bonus, we keep the tradition of exchanging gifts in the spirit of Santa Claus. Oh heck, who am I kidding? Do I really expect my 3-year old (or my 1-year old) to understand what I'm talking about? The girl still believes that the characters in costume at Disneyland are the REAL DEAL, even after meeting 3 different Belles. And it lights up her world to see and touch them every time we go to Disneyland. How could I burst her bubble like that? I don't know what to do. We can't avoid the subject forever, like our parents did with the sex-talk. Any suggestions? Until we come up with a good explanation, the subject continues to be non dit in our home.

One Degree of Separation

I was thinking today about how small the world is and all the weird connections my friends and family have. Here are three examples:

#1
A good friend of mine, Banana, whom I grew up with and have known since the 5th grade in Houston, now lives in New York and goes to the very same church as my soul sister, Cha. Cha and I have been good friends since college in NY. And now they are good friends. In fact Cha was in both mine and Banana's wedding parties.

They hardly remember, but about 7 years ago when I was visiting NY for a wedding, I was staying with Cha and had dinner with a random mix of friends (friends of my husband's, old friends from Houston and friends from college). They were both at that dinner and I don't think they even talked to each other.

#2
I have this friend, Soph, who went to the same college as Joe, and whom I met through another friend, Maria, whom I met while we were in grad school together. Not only did Maria go to grad school back in Texas with me, but she also went to the same college as Joe, which is out on the east coast. They all knew each other back in college and hung out in similar circles. Soph and Maria have been very close since high school (in Texas). Also, Soph's husband went to the same med school in Texas as my husband. Did you catch all that?

That's not the end of the hysteria. For a while Soph and her husband lived out here in LA like us. One day, Soph and I were talking about our Dads and discovered some very eerie similarities. They are both engineers and both work at the Houston office of a large engineering firm. 7 years ago my Dad was transferred for about 3 years to China by his company, which has branches all over the US and the world. I was telling Soph how difficult the job situation was in Houston and how my Dad was transferred overseas to China. "Wow, that's strange. My Dad is going through the same difficulties with his job and made the decision to transfer to China, too," says Soph. It turns out, they worked for the same company, in the same building for many years and had never met until they were both transferred at about the same time to work on the same project in China. Not only that. They had already become bosom buddies (eating dinners together, talking about children and soon-to-be grandchildren, taking hikes, and getting massages) before we even discovered this connection and revealed it to them. And here's the cherry on top of the sundae: Soph and I were both pregnant at the same time and had babies 5 days apart, although our due dates were only 1 day apart.

#3
Before our family immigrated to the US, my Dad went to college with and eventually worked at the same company as this other man, Mr. Y. They remained friends even after both our families came to the US, despite living in different states. Mr. Y became a pastor and was instrumental in bringing my Dad to Christ, which in turn was the key to saving our whole family. Through the years our families met and their 4 kids and my brother and I, who are all very close in age, got to know each other through short family vacations together.

Skip forward to 10 years ago. Joe and I meet for the very first time on a rock at Galveston beach with a bunch of other men and women from church. We begin a friendship. After I graduate from college, I go back to Houston and our friendship grows. We study together, he counsels me on med schools (I was pre-med and he was in med school), and we just talk about anything and everything. One day, my Dad discovers us talking at church and is surprised. He says to me, "Do you know who this is?" ... "This is the nephew of Mr. Y." Say what?! It turns out, Mr. Y told Joe to look up my Dad at our church. Joe and my Dad were already acquainted, but it was at that moment that Joe discovered that I was the daughter of his uncle's friend. My father-in-law and Mr Y. are the 4th and 5th children out of 8 siblings.

Did you just get chills? My life never ceases to amaze and blow me away. If these aren't examples of God's providence, I don't know what is. Anyone else got any good stories?

Gotta read

I've been tagged. Thanks, Cha, for the inspiration. Here's my take on 15 Things About Books, a completely open-ended list about books and book preferences.

1. Growing up I remember very distinctly several of the first books I owned in my library, which I read over and over. A few include: A is for Anabelle, Walt Disney's Storyland, No Roses for Harry, Lyle Lyle the Crocodile (thanks to Cha for finding the last 2 for our girls), A Fly Went By, The New Kid on the Block, Charlotte's Web, the Ramona Quimby books, A Wrinkle in Time, Hardy Boys series, Nancy Drew series, Anne of Green Gables.
2. I took a long hiatus from reading after my children were born. It's due to my personality. You see, when I'm reading (or doing anything for that matter) I need to know that I can focus for a while on just reading without interruptions. Mothers don't really have that luxury. For me, the thought of having to put a book down in the middle of a good part was just too unbearable. That's when TV stepped in - it requires less commitment and less concentration. I have since picked up reading again, but the only time I have to indulge in it is when the kids are down at night.
3. I'm convinced the reason I don't have 20/20 vision anymore is because of reading. Up until the point when I was an engineering major, I wasn't required to read too much. As soon as I transferred from Engineering to Humanities I delved into reading and not just because I had to. I think I had a combined average of 50-100 pages per night assigned on everything from Supreme Court decisions, foreign policy, North/South Korean relations, urban policy, to philosophy. It was that first semester after transferring that I noticed a dramatic drop in my perfect vision. But aside from that, I had a really good education. I wish I had taken better advantage of it at the time.
4. I am extremely anal about the care of my books. Before college I used to buy clear contact paper (the kind you line your kitchen drawers with) and cover all of my softback books. I can't stand the sight of creases on the bindings of my books. That's why all my books look unread. I had to abandon that habit when I went to college, for fear of being labeled a freak.
5. This is how much of an engineering nerd I am - freshman year of college, I was really into the book A Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawking.
6. My favorite sources for books are Amazon.com and Costco (of course). Why pay msrp?
7. The one book I can recite in its entirety by memory is Goodnight Moon. Wherever I am, even if I don't have the book on me, I can recite the story for my girls and it calms them down at night.
8. For me, the hardest part about reading is choosing the right book. Two of my biggest pet peeves are investing time and money at a subpar restaurant and investing time and precious bookshelf space on a mediocre book. It often takes me weeks or more to decide on a book - I will check reviews and ask people I know before I even consider buying/checking out a book. Anyone got any good book review sources or better yet, any good books?
9. When I was in the 4th grade I used to dream about becoming a children's book writer and illustrator, even though I was a child myself. I actually wrote, illustrated and bound (well, stapled) a few of my own stories. At that time, I was really into unicorns, so I wrote lots of mythical stories and was constantly practicing my unicorn drawings. I guess this is why I can relate to Napoleon Dynamite and his fascination with ligers.
10. Whenever my mom comes to visit our kids (or we go to visit them) she comes with half a suitcase full of books. She picks them up wherever she goes. I love it, but I seriously need to consider getting a wall unit built for all of them. Cha, is also guilty of contributing to our enormous library. I think we may have about half as many children's books as the dinky local library in our area (sad).
11. I once took a class to learn how to speed read. It was pretty interesting and for reading under pressure (such as a standardized exam) it's pretty handy, but it's not enjoyable. You have to position your whole body and hold your book a certain way that doesn't look or feel normal. Imagine a whole room full of people doing this and waving their hands across book pages at a rapid speed - it looks crazy. You can't really read like that outside the privacy of your own home. Also, after doing it for a half an hour or so, your head really hurts.
12. Ever since college and studying poli sci, I have really been into reading non-fiction documentary-style books - really depressing stuff about people in other parts of the world or other cultures that makes me appreciate my life even more and gets me riled up about all the injustice in the world. For example, Amazing Grace by Kozol and The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Fadiman are both very compelling reads. But lately, since a friend of mine leant me her copy of Memoirs of a Geisha, I have been really itching for some good fiction. Maybe it's just a result of me wanting to escape from the crazy state of the world lately - I need more uplifting, happy endings.
13. I am currently reading: Three Junes by Julia Glass, The World According to Garp by John Irving, and Young at Art: Teaching Toddlers Self-Expression, Problem-Solving Skills, and an Appreciation of Art by Susan Striker.
14. I found this list of 100 best English language novels since 1923 and it's pathetic how few of them I have read. Maybe 15% at best.
15. The one good habit I hope my kids develop and keep with them forever is the need to read. Can you imagine how brilliant you would be if you read everything available to you?

Welcome Christian and Amanda

Congratulations to Julie and Lynda, both sisters who had due dates 10 days apart, but somehow managed to give birth on the very same day, without their control. Providence! Happy Birthday Christian and Amanda!

The babies in utero count at church is back to 8 (down from 10). And no, we're not pregnant.

An enigma

Every time I see trailers for Brokeback Mountain I am puzzled. I don't foresee a lot of heterosexual men going to see this, at least not together. They're also eliminating a large majority of the population, because children will not be seeing it. And I'm not sure I know too many women who are interested in seeing it (cowboy movies don't generally appeal to chicks, even without the boy-on-boy action). Are there really that many gay men out there? I think I'd like to see it, but does anyone want to go see it with me?.... ... ... .. Oh well, I may have to wait for the DVD to come out. Am I missing something? I thought the way movies make money is to appeal to mass audiences. Perhaps it's like that bet Cha made with me to use the phrase rubber vagina in my blog, but instead the wager here is for the challenger to incorporate two gay cowboy lovers in a major motion picture. Someone just got paid. Big time.

TWO

Thanks, Cha for yet another list. Here are some tidbits from me to you.

Two Names You Go By

1. Ha
2. Halle (only given out to people I meet for the first time and who are struggling to pronounce my real name. It's the sign of the times; I've gotten lazier.)

Two Parts of Your Heritage

1. Korean
2. Latin-American (I've been told I can shake it like a Latina, by a Latino)

Two Things That Scare You

1. Overgrown ivy, which we have all over our backyard (I don't want to know what's living in there)
2. Crawl spaces, which we have under our entire house (ditto)

Two Everyday Essentials

1. Hugs and kisses from my girls & husband
2. Prayer. There's never enough.

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now

1. Jeans - my #1 thing I reach for to wear
2. A favorite cozy sweater, which I've had for almost 10 years

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists

1. Indigo Girls
2. Mozart

Two Things You Want in a Relationship

1. Loyalty. I need to know that you've got my back.
2. Honesty. Tell it to me like it is.

Two Truths

1. We are all poor, wretched sinners
2. God's grace is sufficient for all.

Two Things You Hate (or at least really dislike)

1. Being disrespected
2. People who are incredibly selfish. We are all selfish to some extent, but I'm talking about move-outta-my-way, I'm-gonna-get-my-way-or-else, kind of selfishness.

Two Physical Features that Appeal to You

1. Height
2. A great smile

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies

1. Anything that requires my hands (knitting, baking, cooking, building, gardening, throwing pottery on a wheel)
2. Anything that gives me the opportunity to watch my children laugh (including Disneyland)

Two Things You Want Really Badly

1. To be satisfied with my life and what I've accomplished
2. To be a really good wife and mother.

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation (other than visiting family)

1. New York in the Fall, Christmas or June
2. Maui anytime

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die

1. Spend some time living in a foreign country.
2. Be there for my kids as they get married and have their own kids.

Two Ways That You are Stereotypically a Chick/Guy
As those of you who know me understand, I'm not stereotypically anything. In fact, I am known to be more stereotypically like a guy in the way I think and act (I'm not that expressive, not very sensitive, and not good at multi-tasking). So, here are my 2 closest semi-chick qualities:

1. I like driving a minivan, but I think any guy or girl would like it, if they could get over the whole soccer mom stigma. What's not to like - it handles like a sedan, has power, seats an army, is chocked full of gadgets and cupholders, AND gets decent gas mileage. Like I said before, it corners like it's on rails, yet rides like a limo. What could be more manly than that?
2. I don't like insects or rodents, but then does anyone really like them? If ever a creature in either or these 2 categories crosses my path, I scream for my husband (or the nearest person other than me), like a damsel in distress.

Two Things You Normally Wouldn’t Admit

1. I'm extremely gullible.
2. I'm extremely ticklish.

The Magic of Disney

Give me an "A"
Originally uploaded by hyuhan.

What is it about Disney that captivates every child from the time of inception? Disney has created a mystique and allure that draws every little child (and rakes in millions). As soon as you walk through the magic gates, a spell is cast and you are instantly under a trance. You are now in Disney-Land and nothing on the outside world matters. In fact, if you want to go to your car and leave the park, you had better have a good reason because it's quite a trek. As we walked along the glistening Main Street, we saw many of the beloved characters we grew up with and crowds of children (and large adults) swarmed towards them just to catch a glimpse or touch a piece of fabric from their costume or even receive a wave or hello in return. Here there is no Brad Pitt, no Angelina Jolie. Cinderella and Price Charming rule here. My husband and I are not too excited about our daughters' love of everything Disney, especially of their incessant idol-worshipping Princess talk. It just feeds into the whole celebrity game here in the real world and teaches them values we don't believe: that it's what's on the outside that counts, that being a celebrity really matters to the world, and that you need to wear dresses, makeup and pretty shoes to be pretty and attract a man (Abs would wear a dress EVERYDAY if she had a choice). Our younger daughter (20 months) can now say glass slipper, magic wand, princess, Cinderella, Mulan and a host of other words from the Disney dictionary. But how can we teach them not to like these things when they are so prevalent and so natural to them? It's the one thing that Abs loves talking about and she loves seeing. I know it's just a phase that will pass. But I wonder sometimes, are they teaching our children lasting lessons that are negatively shaping their self-esteem/self-worth and their real image of the world?

On another note, we did find all the minority Disney characters at Disney's California Adventure. If you're wondering where all the non-white characters are, they are at the other park on the other side. The highlight of Abby's trip was getting to meet Mulan. I guess if she's going to like a fictional character, it's not so bad that it's one that can kick some major butt with her Samurai sword.

Dear God, Thank you for Popeyes

Dear God, Thank you for Popeye's
Originally uploaded by hyuhan.

Last night on the way to Costco, we were trying to decide where to eat. We wanted something fast, yet satisfying, so we could get to Costco in time before it closed. God heard our prayers and he answered. On the way there, I noticed for the first time, a Popeyes right there en route to the very same Costco we shop at regularly. Being a Southern girl myself and living through Mardi Gras '96, we just had to turn in and dine in. I was sooooo excited. It was a first for our daughters and even for Joe. Abby prayed for the meal and we hungrily devoured our 8-pc meal, with biscuits and a large side of red beans & rice. It was delish. Love that chicken from Pop-eyes.

God Bless the 80s

Upload Video at DropShots.com

Recently, a good friend of ours donated their keyboard to us. Our kids love it and can't stop playing it. Being classically trained myself, I thought I'd try and teach them a few scales to start, but they have their own ideas. Check out this crazy video of our kids jammin' to the preprogrammed Demo. This explains why 80s music is so universally loved by all generations.

Mome-sal

It's what happens to you after you've overexerted yourself and not gotten enough rest. It's not the flu or any sort of illness associated with bacteria or viruses. It's mome-sal. In all my years I still haven't determined what the medical equivalent is and although it can't be limited to the Korean race, I've never heard of a single non-Korean experiencing it. When I'm having fun, my body and brain don't communicate and eventually I crash. I was wallowing in the minutes with my sister Cha and forgot to stop and rest. It's not my fault though - my body never told me it needed rest. That's because my body and brain have a communication problem. It's the reason why I have to journal in order to understand myself. Anyway, after 5 glorious days of moments that can never be replicated, my body just decided to go to sleep. Through the day and through the night. What did the kids do, you ask? They ate whatever they wanted and watched ridiculous animated movies that I would never let them watch had I been conscious. They weren't complaining. By the way, after not washing my face for over a day, for some reason my skin looks better than ever and feels smoother and blemish-free. I'm beginning to think that all the cosmetics marketed to clean, clarify and rejuvenate your skin are a big hoax. Duh. I think we fuss too much over our skin when all we really need are loads of sleep and our own naturally produced oils. Okay, it's settled, I'm going to write a whole 400-page book on this and sell a million copies. It will be titled, YOU: The Owner's Manual: An Insider's Guide to the Face that Will Make You Look Healthier and Younger. I will make billions. Muhahaha. It will be on stands next to my husband's Manifesto (forward by Cha).

Also, during my sleepy state (I may have been dreaming, but I could have sworn) my younger daughter (20 months) had a full dialogue with me. She said, "Mommy, open it please. Makeup." I have this suspicion that she talks in full sentences with her sister but when I'm around she speaks in baby talk so she can still receive my sympathy and doting. Kids are pretty darn manipulative.

Ahhh. Looking back over the past week, there were moments that were so precious because they were moments that could only happen with Cha. When I spend time with certain friends, I feel like I'm at home, wherever I am. Not only did we take in the sites (outlets malls, Reagan library, Costco), we had long talks about anything and nothing at all. Here are a few soundbites from our week together:

HA: It must be because of the war (explaining why I hoard plastic shopping bags by the dozens)
CHA: You should include that in your Manifesto and I will write the forward (said to Joe after making very capitalist remarks)
HA: It's good homicide weather (said while passing a taping for CSI)
CHA: Storm? pfchaaa! It's barely drizzling! And why are shoppers scrambling? (referring to the ridiculous news anchors documenting the "storm" which looked more like a momentary drizzle)
HA: She must have a rubber vagina (referring to a woman who passed two 10-lb twins vaginally without tearing)
CHA & HA: Nooo mountain lions! Nooo rattlesnakes! (It wouldn't be a true vacation without nature and all the elements)
HA: A nature walk is not a hike.
CHA: Why do men act like that? What would a man do? (looking to Joe, the only man in sight and in our household, as the voice of the entire male race)
HA: How do you get things done without phone calls? Would you call a plumber? (interrogating Cha on her aversion to phone conversations)

It seems our history together is full of these vignettes, these splashes of comic relief that make all the sense in our worlds but make no sense to the world.

Woman

Delicate and torrid
Her eyes fixed and watching
Searching for a distant meaning
A touch, a breath
Her regard cannot be contained
Her body more than a mere vessel
Ever changing and unfolding
A rubber vagina
Producing life blood

Is her heart never to find peace
A home beneath the shallows
Wanton cries, wanton laughter
You see, she is more than just anything
Just Woman, Just you.

This one's dedicated to Cha and her poor friend who gave birth to TWO 10-pound twins via vagina (no lacerations!), and aptly referred to as Ms. Rubber Vagina. We made a small wager that I wouldn't and couldn't use the phrase "rubber vagina" in my post. Show me the money!