Just Do It

If I were to choose a motto for my life, that would be it. I'm a doer. In fact, I often feel uncomfortable and anxious if I'm not doing something. When we were shopping around for houses, it was the completely remodeled, move-in ready homes that made me feel uneasy. Give me a cosmetic fixer in need of a little TLC any day. And when I want to show someone my care, I don't tell them. To me, actions speak louder than words. That is why I do the meals on wheels ministry for new moms at our church. I'm just not that good at calling people, asking them how their delivery went and all that. I'm concerned, but the only way I know how to show my care and concern is to do something: bring a meal, help around the house, etc... And gifts are just things you buy with money. Anyway, I'm giving this whole personal history, because I feel this is the source of many of the problems I have with people, namely my family... namely my older daughter. Joe on the other hand, isn't concerned with all those things. He just listens and comforts and gives Abby what she really needs. To give a Biblical analogy - I'm Martha and Joe is Mary.

Today was the first day of Kindergarten for Abby. Was I sad? Did I soak in every moment? Not really. Best laid plans aside, I had a horrible time: from trying to get Abby up 2 hours earlier than her body naturally wants to wake up, trying to get myself up early after very little sleep (mainly because I was so nervous about having everything ready), spending time making a breakfast that she was not in the mood to have today, fighting about hairdos, and dealing with bad drivers and the mayhem of finding parking on the first day of school. I, like Martha, was so consumed with all the preparations that I wasn't able to enjoy this very important moment for my daughter. I spent so much time preparing so this moment would be just right and when nothing did go right, I was left with nothing but disappointment. Joe on the other hand, was not stressed about being late, or hair or clothes or breakfast or anything. He was just thinking about Abby and her first day and making it special for her. I think Abby would actually appreciate me more if I stopped doing things like making her lunch and braiding her hair, and started just paying more attention to her and being by her side. I was born to be a Martha though. Doing is what I do best. Unfortunately, the things that I'm good at giving to my daughter, I fear, are secondary to the things she really needs and appreciates.