Love don't come easy

Relationships are tough; everything from friends to family to marriage. Personalities clash. We tend to impose our expectations for ourselves on others. And of course, we are always the normal ones (in our mind's eye). We all go through a honeymoon phase, where everything about the other person is wonderful, fun and exciting (in friendships too). Even the other's supposed "faults" are not so unbearable, because we are willing to give the benefit of the doubt and overlook a lot. Then reality checks in. We get tired of the disappointment, the misunderstandings and the frustration. We are face to face with conflict; a pivotal fork in the road. Whether we choose to avoid conflict or confront it head-on will determine the future of the relationship. In marriage, if it hasn't happened already, 7 years is about the time when we often start to give up in small and large ways and go separate ways. In friendships, the rift can begin with even smaller, more petty things. It's just easier this way, we say. So often we make choices without volition. Seemingly, we don't choose anything and yet that in itself is an act - a declaration of disregard. We choose ourselves. Why do I talk about this? Because I struggle to wholeheartedly love my friends and family, and even my own husband. When God called us to love our neighbors, it was no small, simple task. I realize now, loving others is as easy as hating myself. Yet that's what it requires - not literally hating myself per se, but loving others that much more. I don't know if I'm able, at least not in this lifetime.