TWO GIRLS?!?

When I was five I imagined I myself as Lynda Carter on normal days and Wonder Woman on not so quiet days. By the time I was 10, I was an insecure mess, trying to be normal in a very Texan world (I realized sometime in my 20s after leaving TX that it was in fact TX that was not so normal). When I hit 20, I thought life could not get any better than living in NY and exploring new places, being exposed to new foods and cultures, and being inspired in a different way almost everyday. Before I was married, I dreamt about finding my life's partner and exploring the world. Before I had children, I contemplated just the two of us and all the freedom and fun we would have together for the rest of our lives. Who knew that I would someday be a mom to 2 girls?

Growing up I was surrounded by boys: my brother, most of my close friends, my husband (who comes from a family of boys and 6 uncles on his dad's side). I used to fight with my dad every Sunday about not wanting to wear a dress. I used to do ollies and skate on a half pipe. I have a low tolerance for drama and don't condone many of the tactics used by females to get their way. I have often been compared to a man. When I read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, it made no sense to me, until I examined myself through the perspective of the man. When I need to resolve issues, I am often the one that retreats to my cave.

When I found out I was pregnant, I almost knew that God was going to bring me a son. After all, I have been trained my whole life to deal with males and think like a male. I didn't believe the doctor's ultrasound, or even the handful of ultrasounds my husband did on me himself. Maybe my little boy was just a late bloomer, I thought.

It took a while for my transformation to who I am today. "SHE'S a GIRL!" I was constantly correcting passer-byers those first few months after Abby was born. How could I blame them; she was always dressed in green or gray, was balder than Yul Brynner and looked like Dom Deluise. I finally broke down and started buying pink.

I didn't even know how to talk to Abby after she was born. That voice that moms use with their babies - that was NOT me. But eventually I learned to communicate with my daughter. My voice did soften and sweeten around her and now my husband can't even tell when I'm talking to them or to him. I guess I have a hard time turning it off.

There was a time when my solution to whining was to yell, "STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" and then leave. Now I've learned to take a deep breath, listen to what is being said underneath the whining, and present alternative forms of communication.

Even my appearance has become more feminine. Someone recently told me that I started to dress better after having the kids. This doesn't usually happen after having kids, but I think I attribute it to being surrounded by more femininity. There are very few people on this earth that are more feminine or interested in being feminine than my Abby. I guess it's just natural that some of that would start rubbing off on me. Does that mean that mothers of boys start to dress in more khakis, polos and sweats?

Years ago, if you had asked me if I wanted children, I would have told you 3 boys. Now? I wouldn't have it any other way. I love having 2 girls and how they've changed me. In a way, they've made me a softer, more sensitive person. They bring out the best in me and let me know all the time that they want to cook like me, bake cakes like me, have long hair like me and someday be a mom like me. When I was little I used to say that I wanted to be Wonder Woman. Today, my daughter told me that she wants to be a mommy.