Family Ties

I think this may be the longest I've gone without writing. I had a jam packed week with my brother in town and a dreaded final to study for. It was fun and stressful all at once. We did everything from refinishing kitchen cabinets to the Getty to enjoying a day at the beach. Life is so difficult without family. God definitely put families on this earth to provide the tangible presence and support that He knows we need.

It's always good when I get to see my family, since it only happens once in a long while. Every time I see my brother, I see him less and less as my little brother, and more and more like a friend and co-conspirator. I used to doubt that my brother and I were really born from our parents, because in a lot of ways, we are so different from them (physically and mentally). The one assurance that I had that we were of the same blood was that my brother and I bear a resemblance to each other. It's amazing but he's finally come to the point in his life where he's thinking about and planning his own family. When I first heard from my mom that he is considering getting married in the next year, I was a bit concerned. Does he really know what he's doing at 24 years of age? Nevermind that I was that age when I got married. But that's different.

You don't think about it at the time, but there will be a day when you look back at your life and the years you lived without your spouse will be just a speck compared to all the time and experiences that you've shared with him/her. It's hard to imagine. Already at my ripe old age of 31, when I look back upon my youth, I realize there are only a limited number of people and memories I have that even approach in importance those that I've built together with my husband. So, choosing a spouse and lifelong partner is no small decision. Thank God I was too young to know better. If I knew what I know now, I think I would have stressed myself out over the whole prospect of marrying someone FOREVER. Years later when we discussed the possibility of having a baby, I was almost too freaked out about being someone's mom forever to have children.

So, my baby brother is thinking about getting married. His mind is set. He's in love. And I see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. It reminds me of me, eight years ago. Although, I hear more reason and less emotion in his voice than me, but hey, I'm a woman. I think if I were to share a bit of what I've learned from my 7 years of marriage with anyone who is considering marriage, it would be that marriage is not about you, or your desires to be with someone and be fulfilled. Instead, it's about the other person standing in front of you at the altar, and how you can serve and love them as Christ did for His church. I struggle all the time to remember and live this.