Today my dear sister Cha is turning 30 (shhhh). Is it ok for me to be publishing your age, Cha? Ya growns up and ya growns up. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll still get carded with that cute face of yours. Being 30 just means that people will start taking you more seriously and treating you like you're an adult.
Today is Monday, Oct. 31, the 304th day of 2005. There are 61 days left in the year. This is Halloween. And appropriately enough, my dear mafiosa, this day in history (1912) the first gangeter film opened - The Musketeers of Pig Alley, directed by D.W. Griffith.
Today's Birthdays: Former Attorney General Griffin Bell is 87. Author Dick Francis is 85. Former Cambodian King Norodom Sihanouk is 83. Movie critic Andrew Sarris is 77. Former astronaut Michael Collins is 75. Actress Lee Grant is 74. Former CBS anchorman Dan Rather is 74. Actor Ron Rifkin is 66. Actor David Ogden Stiers is 63. Actress Sally Kirkland is 61. Singer Kinky Friedman is 61. Actress Deidre Hall is 57. Talk show host Jane Pauley is 55. Actor Brian Stokes Mitchell is 47. Movie director Peter Jackson is 44. Rock musician Larry Mullen is 44. Actor Dermot Mulroney is 42. Rock musician Mikkey Dee (Motorhead) is 42. Rock singer-musician Johnny Marr is 42. Actor Rob Schneider is 41. Country singer Darryl Worley is 41. Rap musician Adrock is 39. Songwriter Adam Schlesinger is 38. Rap performer Rob Van Winkle (formerly known as Vanilla Ice) is 37. Rock singer Linn Berggren (Ace of Base) is 35. TV host Troy Hartman is 31. Actor Eddie Kaye Thomas is 25.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
Test, test. Is this mic on?
Today marks the first day of taping for our TV show. Actually, it's Kenneth's TV show, but we're the stars for the day. I feel like we just spent all morning being taped doing goofy, nonsensical stuff and now I'm really nervous about how it will all turn out. Don't laugh at us when you see footage of us folding laundry, making PB&J sandwiches and the girls hamming it up. That's what we were directed to do. I think the cameramen are at lunch laughing about us right now - they were calling Joe crotchetty and me, the foiler. I'm still not sure if those are complements or if they're just making fun of us, but they kept asking us to be more crotchetty and keep on foiling. We still have some more taping to do with Kenneth this afternoon, so it's not over yet. *Sigh* It's so hard being a celebrity (just kidding).
Thursday, October 27, 2005
What I could have been
Over the past few years I've been feeling this itch to find my dream career and for some reason I've had a bit of urgency about doing it. Perhaps it's because I haven't yet learned to be content or comfortable with who I am. I spend so much time thinking about what I could be doing with my life if I wasn't just a mom and a wife. I don't really believe the "just" part, but that's how the world sometimes looks at me. In fact, if being a mom were a full time job, there are some days I think I would get fired, without severance. There are definitely other jobs I've had more success at and ones in which I didn't get quite as many complaints from my coworkers or clients. No matter how hard I try, I can't get my kids to do things I ask them to when I want them to and I can't keep the house in order even on an "easy" day.
I once had high aspirations for my life and thought I could be running for Senate, advancing health policy, curing cancer or defending the rights of immigrants who don't have a voice. Growing up, my parents pushed me and told me that I could become ANYTHING I wanted. When you hear it enough, you start to believe it. I think that's why I have such a hard time with failure and so much impatience when it comes to attaining my goals. I expect to do things right the first time and if it doesn't turn out that way, I have extreme disappointment.
Looking at my life, one might ask, what more do you want? You have 2 obedient children (for the most part), a good marriage, a California home and many more luxuries in life. I have girlfriends who aren't married and I know they pray for the things that I have. But somehow, it's not enough. As a woman, I want it all. We have so many choices that we feel that we are less of a woman if we don't strive to meet our full potential as a perfect wife, nurturing mother AND successful businesswoman/doctor/ lawyer. Instead of making a choice, women who don't have to work feel as if they need to do everything. I once read a book about male/female psychology that said that when women feel added demands on their life from home or work or both, they automatically feel as if they need to do more and then try to address everything (men are the opposite and instinctively retreat, either mentally or physically).
I know I can't do everything, because I have tried in the past and as in the world of politics, it's a zero sum game. I often doubt whether I was meant to be a stay at home mom. Some women are not and that doesn't make them poor moms. We need to have more support for each other as mothers and women. If I decide to go back to work, would you think me to be selfish and pity my children for having to spend most of their days in daycare or with a nanny. Or if my decision is to continue to stay at home, will you judge me and think me to be a simple woman with no skills outside of childbearing?
I once had high aspirations for my life and thought I could be running for Senate, advancing health policy, curing cancer or defending the rights of immigrants who don't have a voice. Growing up, my parents pushed me and told me that I could become ANYTHING I wanted. When you hear it enough, you start to believe it. I think that's why I have such a hard time with failure and so much impatience when it comes to attaining my goals. I expect to do things right the first time and if it doesn't turn out that way, I have extreme disappointment.
Looking at my life, one might ask, what more do you want? You have 2 obedient children (for the most part), a good marriage, a California home and many more luxuries in life. I have girlfriends who aren't married and I know they pray for the things that I have. But somehow, it's not enough. As a woman, I want it all. We have so many choices that we feel that we are less of a woman if we don't strive to meet our full potential as a perfect wife, nurturing mother AND successful businesswoman/doctor/ lawyer. Instead of making a choice, women who don't have to work feel as if they need to do everything. I once read a book about male/female psychology that said that when women feel added demands on their life from home or work or both, they automatically feel as if they need to do more and then try to address everything (men are the opposite and instinctively retreat, either mentally or physically).
I know I can't do everything, because I have tried in the past and as in the world of politics, it's a zero sum game. I often doubt whether I was meant to be a stay at home mom. Some women are not and that doesn't make them poor moms. We need to have more support for each other as mothers and women. If I decide to go back to work, would you think me to be selfish and pity my children for having to spend most of their days in daycare or with a nanny. Or if my decision is to continue to stay at home, will you judge me and think me to be a simple woman with no skills outside of childbearing?
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Seven
I can't resist. Right back at ya, Cha. Here's some mindless reading for a lazy Sunday afternoon. By the way, the responses are in no particular order.
7 things I want to do before I die:
7 things I want to do before I die:
- Find just one career I can enjoy for the rest of my life and excel at it (and maybe try to fit in 10 or 20 of my hobbies on the side).
- Do a triathalon and finish strong
- Teach my girls to know God and follow Him all the days of their lives
- Be content with my life, my flaws and the circumstances God has given me
- Travel the world; literally, the world
- See my girls graduate from Columbia (or Penn as a backup)
- Study and understand the Bible from cover to cover
7 things I cannot do ... yet:
- Endure the triathalon
- Keep my entire house neat on a daily basis
- Access all the info in my brain under pressure to properly take a standardized exam
- Stand in front of a room of hundreds and command their attention
- Accept failure
- Do 2 or more things at once, well
- Understand and forgive my mother-in-law
7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
- A person who can build and keep strong relationships among family and friends
- Intelligence and the ability to articulate one's opinions
- God fearing and Reformed
- Height (the more the better)
- Compassion for the vulnerable and the disadvantaged
- Witty humor
- Courage ... to do what is right or what may be disliked even if it is against one's nature.
- Honesty and sincerity (sorry, couldn't limit it to 7)
- And to quote Napoleon, "Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills." Just one skill, e.g. bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills, numchuck skills, etc....
7 things that I say most often:
- I don't know
- It's okay
- Sheez
- I can't handle it
- I need to clean up
- Right, right
- You're killing me, Larry (you gotta be from LA to understand this one)
7 Celebrity Crushes:
- Johnny Depp
- Sting (since I was in elementary)
- Jamie Oliver (I love the British lisp)
- Benicio del Toro (mmm... Latin men, plus I just love saying his name)
- John Cusack
- Prince William
- JFK Jr. (the last 2 are impossible, I know)
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Love is a battlefield
When it comes to conflict, I am THE WORST. When I feel I am under attack, my instincts tell me to 1) flee, 2) self preserve or 3) shut down. Before I got married I didn't encounter serious conflict too much, except with my parents and usually with them all I had to do was go to tactic #1 and that usually shut everyone up. For some reason, none of these strategies are effective in marriage. The difficulty is especially magnified when you are married to someone who is comfortable with conflict and sees it as just part of a normal relationship.
The other night we had an argument that spanned about 6 hours (which is not even our record). 6 hours, that's almost a full workday. If I told you what the argument began about you would be dumbfounded. Sometimes I wish we could skip over the whole "he said, she said" and get to the end. There are two things that would make the whole conflict resolution process much more efficient: an instant replay camera and a ref. The final solution always lies somewhere in the middle of our two approaches, but that's what's most difficult because it requires both of us to change. In the end though, what we really need is love and respect for one another, and the humility and kindness of Christ. These are no light tasks - this means that every time we have an argument, I'm supposed to remember that I love this person and want the best for him (as I would for myself). It also requires that we adapt to each other's needs, nurture one another's growth, and actively work towards unifying our divisions. I think we often forget that men and women were created to enjoy marriage. We get so caught up in principle and the struggle for power that we forget that we are together in this marriage and part of the same team.
The other night we had an argument that spanned about 6 hours (which is not even our record). 6 hours, that's almost a full workday. If I told you what the argument began about you would be dumbfounded. Sometimes I wish we could skip over the whole "he said, she said" and get to the end. There are two things that would make the whole conflict resolution process much more efficient: an instant replay camera and a ref. The final solution always lies somewhere in the middle of our two approaches, but that's what's most difficult because it requires both of us to change. In the end though, what we really need is love and respect for one another, and the humility and kindness of Christ. These are no light tasks - this means that every time we have an argument, I'm supposed to remember that I love this person and want the best for him (as I would for myself). It also requires that we adapt to each other's needs, nurture one another's growth, and actively work towards unifying our divisions. I think we often forget that men and women were created to enjoy marriage. We get so caught up in principle and the struggle for power that we forget that we are together in this marriage and part of the same team.
VPL
Were you aware that the #1 Fashion "Don't" is VPL (Visible Panty Line)? Who comes up with this stuff? Must be men. And do people really walk around referring to it as "VPL?" I had to sit through an entire 1 hour Glamour magazine special on TV, counting down the 50 biggest Fashion Don'ts, to learn at the end that I need to abandon my cotton bum-huggers for the oh so disrespectful G (ok, I wasn't really being forced to watch it)? We already teeter around on high heels and strap our software into braziers for you men. What's next?
Monday, October 17, 2005
Palm trees
If you've ever stopped and studied a palm tree, it is actually one of the most hostile looking objects on this planet, yet it is synonomous with paradise and tranquility. Why is that?
This weekend we took a trip to Palm Springs. We went to Joshua Tree National Park and hit the outlet malls - very dichotomous activities. On one hand, I was thinking, look at all this vast undeveloped land (Joshua tree, not the outlet mall). Someone could have come in and built like a million homes here, but they didn't. The Joshua Tree is such a odd looking plant - it's a type of palm that is very drought tolerant and has an odd stubby shape. Alone, it looks like a mutant tree with no purpose (certainly no aesthetic purpose), but when you see stretches of land dotted with these lonely misfit creatures, you think there must be a reason for there existence. There is a peace about them. You can't help stop and stare and wonder, "where did they come from and how do they even thrive with no water." As we drove further downhill and closer to civilization and water, those trees disappeared. There are species of plants and wildlife that choose to live only where it is harshest and practically uninhabitable. As for our family, we choose to live in a warm, cozy home in a neighborhood that is not too far from good restaurants and Korean markets.
This weekend we took a trip to Palm Springs. We went to Joshua Tree National Park and hit the outlet malls - very dichotomous activities. On one hand, I was thinking, look at all this vast undeveloped land (Joshua tree, not the outlet mall). Someone could have come in and built like a million homes here, but they didn't. The Joshua Tree is such a odd looking plant - it's a type of palm that is very drought tolerant and has an odd stubby shape. Alone, it looks like a mutant tree with no purpose (certainly no aesthetic purpose), but when you see stretches of land dotted with these lonely misfit creatures, you think there must be a reason for there existence. There is a peace about them. You can't help stop and stare and wonder, "where did they come from and how do they even thrive with no water." As we drove further downhill and closer to civilization and water, those trees disappeared. There are species of plants and wildlife that choose to live only where it is harshest and practically uninhabitable. As for our family, we choose to live in a warm, cozy home in a neighborhood that is not too far from good restaurants and Korean markets.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
LA vs. NY
This is a running debate in our household. I'm embarrassed to say that someone once called the cops on us while we were living in our old apartment, because Joe and I were having a heated debate about which city was superior (I think our walls were pretty thin, plus this was during our first year of marriage). Everyone you talk to seems to have an opinion about this one.
LA:
- All year round sun (if you're into that)
- Zero humidity
- Mountains, beaches and access to a major city, all within an hour
- An ocean you can actually swim in
- GREAT restaurants (and not as overpriced as NY)
- UH-MAY-ZING sushi, home of the Sushi Nazi, Nozawa
- Beautiful people (I don't know why I'm listing this as a pro, but there are undeniably a disproportionate number of attractive people here)
- Avocados and REAL salsa readily available, even at freakin Denny's (we once asked for salsa in NY and got tobasco - get a rope!)
- A plethora of fresh produce all year round
- Bumping into celebrities while you're out and about (if you're into that)
- The endless beautiful coastline
- So many wonderful places to visit all within the state (not to mention all the incredible national parks - from Joshua Tree to Yosemite)
- Close proximity to lots of major children's attractions - Disneyland, San Diego Zoo, Legoland, Sea World, Universal
- Better sports teams (sorry to rub it in), although we still don't have a football team
- I'm still wearing my flip flops and shorts
NY:
- THE City (the best city on earth)
- Better education (at all levels), even public schools (except in the city)
- Richer history
- Superior museums, music and culture
- Too far for mother in law to drop by
- Great public transportation
- 4 seasons
- NY pizza and incomparable bagels
- Where else can you drive to your choice of 4 different states within a few hours?
- Layering clothes and wearing nice jackets
- The leaves in autumn
- Walking, not just a recreational sport
- Hard to believe, but on average, lower housing costs
- They measure plots of land in acres (outside of NYC), not square feet
- It is what it is, no pretention, no phoniness
Am I leaving anything out?
The reason why I'm rehashing this debate is because Joe's considering other jobs again. I actually think that I'm kind of falling in love with California, and yes, even LA. I find myself hating it a little less everyday. After all, this is the only home my girls have ever known. When I ask Abby which place she loves the best, she always says "California." It's true, but for some reason Californians LOVE California and always want to go back.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Shag is back
We had our second meeting tonight with Kenneth Brown for the show reDesign. It's so exciting to be doing this - not just being part of the making of a TV show, but going through the process of remaking a space that we spend a huge chunk of our lives lounging around in. Kenneth is brilliant. Somehow, he's going to take a very shaggy shag rug, textural fabrics, grass cloth wallpaper, our existing walnut stained wood paneling and jive it together to make a very chic and comfortable family room. It doesn't sound that attractive on paper, but you'll just have to wait for the show to air to see how it all comes together. I can't wait to see how it'll come together.
Back to school and finding the perfect career
This semester I was on the lookout for a good class to take. The interior design program at UCLA didn't have anything this quarter that worked with my schedule so I decided to just take something fun like photography or pottery or... landscape design. Lately I've been on this mission to do something with our yard. It was terrible when we first moved in and now it's just blah. So, instead of hiring a contractor or landscape designer like other people do, I get the idea to take a landscape design class (refer to my entry titled "Idiosyncrasy" - #2). Actually, I've been scribbling down ideas for a while on what to do and studying stacks and stacks of books for ideas for some time. I finally decided I want to just get it all done and get it done right.
So I went to my first class tonight and it may sound crazy but I think I found the career I have been looking for my whole life. I know, I know, I've said that for almost every interest that I've had, but my ears perked up like they've never done before. My prof was this sweet older gentleman with charisma and an amazing fund of knowledge about the field and about the history of architecture and landscaping.
After my first class I was so fired up and proceeded to tell Joe about how I think I've found the perfect career and he says, "oh really?" But it wasn't a "Really? I'm so excited for you." It was more like a " Really, uh-huh, I think I've heard this one before." Okay, so this is why I think Landscape Design would be the perfect match for me:
So I went to my first class tonight and it may sound crazy but I think I found the career I have been looking for my whole life. I know, I know, I've said that for almost every interest that I've had, but my ears perked up like they've never done before. My prof was this sweet older gentleman with charisma and an amazing fund of knowledge about the field and about the history of architecture and landscaping.
After my first class I was so fired up and proceeded to tell Joe about how I think I've found the perfect career and he says, "oh really?" But it wasn't a "Really? I'm so excited for you." It was more like a " Really, uh-huh, I think I've heard this one before." Okay, so this is why I think Landscape Design would be the perfect match for me:
- I get to work for myself and have autonomy
- I set my own schedule and have flexibility for the kids
- I get to express myself creatively
- I continually learn a trade that is so vast and evolving (I think of it as an art form)
- The demand is HUGE in SoCal so I don't have to stress about competition
- I work with people
- I make people happy
- I get to help people
- I get to help people spend their money
- I contribute to people's quality of life
- If I do my job responsibly, I can improve the environment
- I get to work with a vast array of plants and flowers
- I can rattle off a bunch of crazy sounding plant species
- I don't have to do any dirty work but I get to reap all the benefits of seeing a well planned finished product
- There isn't really any schooling required but I can easily get a certificate and pretty much hit the ground running
- I get to make money doing something I really enjoy
Well, I guess for now I should probably take things one at a time and just get through this first intro course.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Protecting our children
I just saw a very compelling Oprah episode. Today's show chronicled several horrible child abduction cases and revealed the inner thoughts of sex offenders who are walking our very streets as we speak. As a mother of 2, I have often dreaded the thought of someone taking our children or taking advantage of them. To think that someone could be stalking our children and plotting an abduction attempt when I'm out with them is just a reality of the world we live in today. It's disgusting to think that there are people out there who prey on the most innocent and vulnerable members of our society.
If your state has a registry for convicted sex offenders it's important you know who they are, where they live, and to report any crime against a child to the FBI.
- For CA: Megan's Law
- Elsewhere: map sex offenders
- Or find your specific state's site through the FBI: State sex offender registry websites
But it's not enough to know where they live, because they don't stay where they live and about a quarter of them don't even comply with mandatory address reporting. It's kind of ironic that our system would trust criminals to obey the law and report when they move. We sometimes even forget to notify the state when we move for voter registration purposes. I know that some states have begun instituting tracking devices for offenders, which may be the only decent option at this time. It must be the priority of all citizens, whether they have children or not, whether they've had their child taken from them or not to protect America's children from becoming victims, so they can live without the fear of crime.
If your state has a registry for convicted sex offenders it's important you know who they are, where they live, and to report any crime against a child to the FBI.
- For CA: Megan's Law
- Elsewhere: map sex offenders
- Or find your specific state's site through the FBI: State sex offender registry websites
But it's not enough to know where they live, because they don't stay where they live and about a quarter of them don't even comply with mandatory address reporting. It's kind of ironic that our system would trust criminals to obey the law and report when they move. We sometimes even forget to notify the state when we move for voter registration purposes. I know that some states have begun instituting tracking devices for offenders, which may be the only decent option at this time. It must be the priority of all citizens, whether they have children or not, whether they've had their child taken from them or not to protect America's children from becoming victims, so they can live without the fear of crime.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Going back to our roots
Disgusting sight, isn't it? Not something you see in LA everyday. We went to the LA County Fair on Friday to get away from the the wildfires in the area and to expose our children to a bit of country life. There's this hilarious commercial for the fair that made me bust up laughing.
A sad but true depicition of LA residents
Share Video at JussPress.com
But then I stopped and wondered, "What if those are our girls someday saying such ridiculously stupid things." "We're going to to the county fair to get back to our roots!" I say. I don't know why I said that since neither Joe nor I have ever spent a day on a farm, but my dad could definitely tell you a story or two about life on a farm. He's a true natureboy. Anyway, going to the county fair was one of the more educational things we have done with the kids. My husband, being an LA boy himself, I could tell was enlightened by the experience as well. There are some things you can learn from books and there are those things you just have to go out and see & feel for yourself.
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